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SNL - Dress Show Edits

The following is a list of sketches and shorts with Kristen that were performed and shown at the dress rehearsals, yet cut from the live shows.

Tina Fey/Carrie Underwood (2-2-308)

Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloons 2 - Kristen talks about riding in a hot air balloon & flirts with herself.

Cruise Ship - Kristen and Tina are Philadelphia Eagle fans looking for men on a cruise ship.

Brian Williams/Feist 9-3-07

Dennis Kucinich - Kristen plays his wife. Dennis thinks he's popular because people whistle and cheer him when he's out with her.

Zach Braff/Maroon 5-19-07

ProActive: Kristina as Dina Lohan (Lindsay's mom) touts the acne medication.

Introverts at Staples - Recurring characters Neil and Jean attempt to buy glue from Staples, and discuss how it's making them high, with the salesclerk (Braff). Time keeps passing & at the end they have their pants off.

Deodorant - Zach Braff discusses spraying eldery patients with deoderant before treating them. Fred and Kristen co-star.

Al Pacino Does Last-Minute Gift Shopping - Bill returns as Al Pacino, trying to buy gifts over the phone, and Kristen as the patient operator.

Molly Shannon/Linkin Park 5-12-07

Sexual Pleasures - Molly & Fred try to get Kristen to open up to her sexual pleasures.

Powerpoint - Molly conducts a meeting at a hotel, with the whole cast. Fred's computer freezes during a Powerpoint presentation, and gets stuck on "I Like to Move It."

Scarlett Johansen/Bjork 4-21-07

Two A-Holes at a Yoga Class - The a-holes attend a yoga class and do their thing.

Attention Shoppers - Scarlett, Will, Jason, and Kristen. Scarlett goes food shopping. She runs into her ex boyfriend. He works at the store & every time she turns away he makes announcements over the intercom.

Hardware Store - Fred and Kristen shop at a hardware store, only Fred keeps smashing things with his male anatomy.

Shia LaBeouf/Avril Lavigne 4-14-07

Target - Shia is a Target Cafe worker who believes in ghosts. He scares away customers. Kristen is, of course, the Target Lady.

An Intimate Moment with John Mayer and Jessica Simpson - John and Jessica try to speak to each other, but stay silent.

Monkey Business - Shia, Jason, Maya, Kristen, Fred, and Will. Shia gets told by his parents to stop monkeying around so he goes to his room to try to get rid of his monkeys.

Peyton Manning/Carrie Underwood 3-25-07

Vegas Revue - Amy & Kristen are anxious to see an Elvis impersonator (Manning) in Vegas but Jason and Bill aren't interested.

Julia Louis Dreyfus/Snow Patrol 3-17-07

Tax Preparers - Maya, Julia, Fred , Kenan, Kristen, and Bill prepare taxes?

Hockey Date - Julia is Will's date, only she doesn't know anything about hockey. She leaves. Will and Kristen make out.

Forest Whitaker/Keith Urban 2-10-07

Cold open: Astronaut - Kristen is Lisa Nowak, the NASA astronaut who tried to kidnap a former flame's new love interest, by driving from Houston to Orlando, in a diaper, to do so.

The Boss - Forest, the boss, yells at his employees as they make mistakes.

Food Court - Fred tries to teach Forest how to pick up women in a food court for Valentine's Day.

Drew Barrymore/Lily Allen 2-3-07

Gulliver's Travels - Gulliver visits the the Lilliputian women, who wonder if he's large..everywhere.

Jeremy Piven/AFI 1-20-07

Awards Show - Jeremy never wins an award, so he skips the show, only to win.

Airborne - Jeremy dresses as a germ, as a fill-in, for an Airborne ad.

Fired - Amy's fired by Jeremy, and begins playing with her desk toys, while everybody looks on in confusion.

Jake Gyllenhaal/The Shins 1-13-07

Gunter Mountain - Commercial about skiing Gunter Mountain, a resort that users snow blowers.

Are They Crazy? - Game show where you guess as to whether somebody is crazy or not.

Conjoined Twins - Jake and Will, who has just lost his wife, are conjoined at the penis. Kristen, Amy, Jason, and Andy attend the class they're teaching.

The DVD - Somebody has left a copy of Beetlejuice DVD. Everybody wonders who's the owner.

Ludacris 9-18-06

Hip Hop Hoodunit- Clue but with a "hip hop twist" - you never solve the murder. This was shown at the UCB live show as well.

Greatest Hits - Kristen and Will in an commercial for country Thanksgiving music.

Alec Baldwin/Christina Aguilera 9-11-07

Evil Speed Reader - Will, Kristen, Andy, and Alec. Will is an evil speed reader that likes to use his powers for boinking women or killing.

Hugh Laurie/Beck 10-28-06

Casual Bitch Workwear - Commercial with Amy, Kristen, and Maya, about wearing inappropriate clothes to work.

TV Land Variety Vault - Vincent Price's Halloween special.

Lost extras - Kristen, Hugh & Amy are doing an episode of Lost and people ignore them.

John C Reilly/My Chemical Romance 10-21-06

Cold open: Support Group - Kristen has a support group for those receiving bad press. With Bill as John Mark Karr, Amy as Madonna, Andy as a stingray, Maya as Paris Hilton and Darrell as Donald Rumsfeld.

Dane Cook/The Killers 11-30-06

Geico Ad: Jerry Lewis - Kristen is the "regular customer," and Fred interprets her story as Jerry Lewis.

Airport Bar - Dane and Kristen share a drink at the airport, while she complains about everything.

Kevin Spacey/Nelly Furtado 5-26-06

TV Land Variety Vault - Vincent Price hosts a Memorial Day special with Kristen as Carol Channing, Spacey as Jack Lemmon, and Hortatio as Alfred Hitchcock.

Podcast - Bill & Jason are doing a podcast at a bowling alley.

Tom Hanks/Red Hot Chili Peppers 5-6-06

Head Lice - Commercial. Insert live beetles in your hair to rid it of head lice.

Germinizing -Finesse is the waiter and sprays water all over everyone. Lindsay is a waitress that puts her hair in the food. Kristen and Chris as customers.

Antonio Banderas/Mary J Blige 4-8-06

Top Romance Model - Kristen and Fred judge male models, who compete to win a spot on a romance novel cover.

Matt Dillon/Artic Monkeys 3-11-06

McNugg - Whole cast. Musical about McDonalds and McNuggets.

Natalie Portman/Fall Out Boy 3-4-06

Broadway Lights Diner - Kristen, Seth, and Amy are in a diner where the wait staff sings Broadway hits but disaster ensues when they slip all over the floor.

Steve Martin/Prince 2-4-06

Monet's Haystacks - Bill, as Monet, only paints haystacks. Steve, his agent, advises him to paint other things. Kristen is his secretary.

Jack Black/Neil Young 12-17-05

XBox Advice Show - Jack & Jason have a talk show & answer questions from players as they keep playing a game.